life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Almost Worth it

I find it interesting that my entire life I feel like I have been struggling to be regular.

I always tried to fit into a "do not stand out", "look like everyone else", and "do not be different" world. I struggled to be a regular sized person, with a regular house, driving a regular car, with 2 regular children. Every day I did not measure up (which was just about every day) I felt bad about me.

Now… I have the nerve (or finally and more accurately do not care what other people think) to do and be the Cheryl I should have been all of my life.

So for those that have a need to feel sorry for me, DON’T this freedom is almost worth the disease

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