life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Beginning of the End?

Some serious wound licking and I am back in the saddle. Had some new symptoms last week, not painful but scary none the less. Enough to get me back into a local cardiology office sooner than I had planned. Going in to have some tests tomorrow and then will be sent to Florida Hospital’s Heart Failure Clinic for management. Not sure exactly what “management" means, Life management-Death management-Disease management not sure which? I am guessing I will be finding out soon. Apparently new symptoms are just the natural progression of this situation. Most cardiologists, in general have the worst bed side manner and disgusting god sized egos. I find them incredibly toxic. Today’s guy was not as bad as most, although I would not go so far as to call him personable he was more likeable than any I have seen. Maybe this is some kind of new beginning of the end.

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