life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Friday, April 30, 2010

Stay Away from Doctors!

I have a new philosophy…. Stay away from doctors!

I am not here to say they are all self serving, but my recent experience is certainly not flattering to the medical industry and the Hippocratic oath.

I suspect there is a liability insurance bean counter somewhere that is counting the “deaths on their watch” and marking them down as liabilities.

I have decided to quit submitting myself to any more rejections and humility, so the plan is to stay away from doctors all together. I will try out the heart failure clinic, but by not allowing myself to get excited or to look forward to counting on them for help and support. I have had appointments to lots of doctors and clinics that turned me down once I was there. There is nothing that indicates this will not happen again. When I have opened myself enough and depended the medical industry to help it has always ended up in disaster. Some how I thought the rules would change a bit if I was paying (or in my case Medicaid) people-doctors to care about me. I expected them to help, to care. I was wrong.

Here it is, they will not care about me even when they are paid to! (I suspect Medicaid does not pay them enough to care)

I have no intention of mounting a big campaign to fix it, I do not have the time or the energy when the simple solution is to just eliminate doctors.

I am staying away from doctors!

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