life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Roller Coaster Ride!

And it goes on…..spending days, weeks waiting to get going with the stem cell research, finally the phone call I have been waiting for comes from the Shands Cardio-pulmonary office, but NOT with the info to start the stem cell research that I have been waiting for.
Another ride is starting. The thoracic surgeons reviewed the film and now I am waiting for a surgeon to call. When I looked him up on the internet, he is a high-risk cardiac surgeon that participates in a lot of clinical trials and research. Not sure where I am headed, another clinical trial, surgical or just a high-risk surgical procedure. Either way it feels like a brand new ride and I waiting on another phone call.

I never really thought much about how much control each of us has over our own lives, I always felt like I was in charge. I am learning that I was wrong.

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