life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Roller Coaster Ride!

And it goes on…..spending days, weeks waiting to get going with the stem cell research, finally the phone call I have been waiting for comes from the Shands Cardio-pulmonary office, but NOT with the info to start the stem cell research that I have been waiting for.
Another ride is starting. The thoracic surgeons reviewed the film and now I am waiting for a surgeon to call. When I looked him up on the internet, he is a high-risk cardiac surgeon that participates in a lot of clinical trials and research. Not sure where I am headed, another clinical trial, surgical or just a high-risk surgical procedure. Either way it feels like a brand new ride and I waiting on another phone call.

I never really thought much about how much control each of us has over our own lives, I always felt like I was in charge. I am learning that I was wrong.

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