“When you encounter much difficulty and resistance, it is because you're in the process of making significant progress.”
Wise words tweeted at me this week.
I think I like the idea that all the crap I have had to deal recently is the universe giving me the heads up and saying, “Get ready girl-really good stuff is on the way”!
life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings
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Monday, January 31, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
I Do Not Know What That Is
Desperately searching for all the things I want to accomplish, while I still can, I have learned that I have no idea what I am doing. There never have been any long-term directions or distinguishing themes to my life. I always managed to rise to the typical expectations, but nothing more.
I am feeling desperate to achieve that marvelous life that will fulfill me.
I am feeling more overwhelmed and worthless than I have ever been.
How do I be everything I want to be, even when I do not know what that is?
I am feeling desperate to achieve that marvelous life that will fulfill me.
I am feeling more overwhelmed and worthless than I have ever been.
How do I be everything I want to be, even when I do not know what that is?
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Powerful New Ways to be Strong
In the New Year 2011, I planned a big renaissance for my life, my art and career…
I got pneumonia. Obviously, reinventing my life has not gotten off to a great start.
I freely admit that I do not know how to (nor did I really want to) experience life from a less than perfect point of view. So this past year while experiencing rather magnificent health for someone with heart failure, I reformulated what I was capable of and for all intensive purposes, it did not include limitations.
Limitations have made an ugly and abrupt arrival.
My lesson is to become honestly aware of my physical weaknesses and limitations.
In so doing so I will find powerful new ways to be strong.
I got pneumonia. Obviously, reinventing my life has not gotten off to a great start.
I freely admit that I do not know how to (nor did I really want to) experience life from a less than perfect point of view. So this past year while experiencing rather magnificent health for someone with heart failure, I reformulated what I was capable of and for all intensive purposes, it did not include limitations.
Limitations have made an ugly and abrupt arrival.
My lesson is to become honestly aware of my physical weaknesses and limitations.
In so doing so I will find powerful new ways to be strong.
Monday, January 3, 2011
It is Amazing
It is amazing that the part of me that is sick is the one part of me that keeps me going.
I am blessed to have such a strong heart that knows in a mysterious way that its function is so much more than simply pumping blood.
I am blessed to have such a strong heart that knows in a mysterious way that its function is so much more than simply pumping blood.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Wisdom of My Heart
The best way to honor my life is to follow my heart!
Asking the questions,
Quietly feeling the answers
Trusting in the strength and wisdom of my own heart.
Asking the questions,
Quietly feeling the answers
Trusting in the strength and wisdom of my own heart.
Friday, December 31, 2010
2011 Resolution
In 2011, I will look to my own heart as my compass;
I trust it will help me see more clearly which direction to go to create an inspirational life.
I am grateful that I am on a path that will bring me closer to my purpose in life!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
The Greatest Gifts Do Not Fit Under the Tree!
A most awesome fun visit! Of all the gifts under the tree, these little guys are the real gifts of Christmas. My heart breaks for them every day!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
The Heart May Open
“Close the door of words that the window of the heart may open.” Rumi
This season brings out the best and the worst!
Mixed in with the random acts of kindness are massive amounts of vulgar ego.
I am just now learning how to open up and depend upon my heart.
This season brings out the best and the worst!
Mixed in with the random acts of kindness are massive amounts of vulgar ego.
I am just now learning how to open up and depend upon my heart.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
It Makes Anything Possible!
The Christmas season and anticipation of a brand new year fill my heart with positive thoughts, forgiveness and hope. The disappointments in the past cannot equal the power of love that gives my heart and soul all of the energy I could possibly need. It makes anything possible!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Listen to Your Heart
Listen to your heart when it asks you to act with kindness. Your heart knows what truly fulfills you.
Listen to your heart when it suggests that you be patient. Your heart knows how real and lasting value is created.
Listen to your heart when it calls you to live this moment with joy. Your heart knows what makes you the most effective.
Listen to your heart when it urges you to see profound beauty in the most ordinary things. Your heart knows where your real strength comes from.
Listen to your heart when it reminds you to feel hopeful. Your heart knows about possibilities that your mind has not yet considered.
Whether you're up or you're down, whether you're confident or unsure, listen to your heart. For your heart knows why you're here.
- Ralph Marston
Listen to your heart when it suggests that you be patient. Your heart knows how real and lasting value is created.
Listen to your heart when it calls you to live this moment with joy. Your heart knows what makes you the most effective.
Listen to your heart when it urges you to see profound beauty in the most ordinary things. Your heart knows where your real strength comes from.
Listen to your heart when it reminds you to feel hopeful. Your heart knows about possibilities that your mind has not yet considered.
Whether you're up or you're down, whether you're confident or unsure, listen to your heart. For your heart knows why you're here.
- Ralph Marston
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
No Matter What the Circumstances
I am not my problems and they are not me. I choose to express my unique value no matter what the circumstances.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Great Joy
Pain is part of life.
Accepting the hurt and moving forward anyway is the secret of happiness.
When you encounter great difficulty and resistance, it means you are on the verge of great joy.
Accepting the hurt and moving forward anyway is the secret of happiness.
When you encounter great difficulty and resistance, it means you are on the verge of great joy.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Abstract Medicine
Ab-strakt (adjective) emotionally detached or distanced from something Encarta Dictionary: English (North American)
The idea of empathy, sincerity and caring about another human being as part of medicine is abstract.
Like a painter participates in a process that includes a relationship with the paint and the canvas, I wonder why my doctors cannot participate in the process that includes a relationship with medicine and me.
I am learning to make peace with the fact that in the eyes of most of today's medical industry I (and others) are nothing more than a billable disease.
"....9 out of 10 doctors think you should get well immediately, the 10th doctor thinks you have a few bucks left". (posted by my brother in-law Alan, fellow heart patient)
The idea of empathy, sincerity and caring about another human being as part of medicine is abstract.
Like a painter participates in a process that includes a relationship with the paint and the canvas, I wonder why my doctors cannot participate in the process that includes a relationship with medicine and me.
I am learning to make peace with the fact that in the eyes of most of today's medical industry I (and others) are nothing more than a billable disease.
"....9 out of 10 doctors think you should get well immediately, the 10th doctor thinks you have a few bucks left". (posted by my brother in-law Alan, fellow heart patient)
Sunday, December 5, 2010
I DO NOT give permission!
I DO NOT give my permission for doctors, hospitals and drug companies to exploit this disease and my fear for their their financial gain. And, quite frankly I do not have the resources for them to be that interested.
The Real Loss
Life entrenched in material comfort without purpose, can be misery.
Life surrounded with purpose is sweet and fulfilling, even when there are obstacles, questions and pain.
Some how, I was convinced to spend far too much of my life working toward a concept that society defined as successful.
I was convinced that my heart and soul’s purpose could not be enough to create a happy life. I always needed to be more, or better.
Please, believe me when I tell you that every moment of my life
that I was NOT pursuing my purpose
is the real loss that I grieve.
Life surrounded with purpose is sweet and fulfilling, even when there are obstacles, questions and pain.
Some how, I was convinced to spend far too much of my life working toward a concept that society defined as successful.
I was convinced that my heart and soul’s purpose could not be enough to create a happy life. I always needed to be more, or better.
Please, believe me when I tell you that every moment of my life
that I was NOT pursuing my purpose
is the real loss that I grieve.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Turkey Birthdays
The wonderful opportunity to spend the day with all of my boys!
1 husband, 2 sons, 3 grandsons (and a partridge in a pear tree!) for Thanksgiving and Jason's and Oliver's birthday was a huge gift.
This was a most wonderful day and I am incredibly grateful!
1 husband, 2 sons, 3 grandsons (and a partridge in a pear tree!) for Thanksgiving and Jason's and Oliver's birthday was a huge gift.
This was a most wonderful day and I am incredibly grateful!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Full Moon Fridays
There is absolutely nothing better than being outdoors on a crisp fall evening around an open fire, under a full moon with a hand full of marvelous creative women. (A little wine and chocolate don’t hurt either!) The most open, honest, authentic creative inspiration appears on full moon Fridays! Thank you!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Almost Perfectly Wonderful!
Had an adventurous purposeful day! Was able to keep up as we walked the school corridors and see at the most creative art works you could imagine!
Had an impeccable lunch on the patio with Herbie Hancock,the resident rooster.
Concealed the exhaustion in the bookstore stacks then slept for 3 hours.
But there are no words that will be able to express how tickled and grateful I am to have an almost perfectly wonderful day with absolutely perfectly wonderful friends!
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