life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Sunday, October 19, 2014

Happy Heart Day #5! Every Year I celebrate my heart and paint my chest!

Every heart attack anniversary, I paint my chest
 to celebrate my incredible, amazing strong heart
This year has had more than it's share of ups and downs, but today I am celebrating no change. Mid-way through my 4th year, my Ejection Fraction slipped from an unheard of and an amazing 40% (which the doctors and nurses have told me is close to miraculous given the amount of heart damage I have) to 30%.  The mitral valve is failing, and the rest of my valves are now being examined for signs of failure also.  The very kind, but no nonsense echo tech was not allowed to give me any results but as I was getting dressed she asked what was my last EF back in May….I responded 30%.  A few moments later as she opened the door to let me out of the lab, she covertly whispered in my ear….it is still 30%.  That means 6 full months of no change, and I am taking this as spectacular exciting happy heart day news.  To celebrate this year’s Happy
Heart Day, I painted 30 happy hearts on mychest.  Happy Anniversary my heart, I am celebrating, dancing and painting. I am so incredibly grateful for how you continue to support my amazing life.

"I Just Want to Celebrate"  Rare Earth
Backing up, and setting the record straight, which I would have been most happy to leave at 30% when the doctor got a hold of it, I was down graded to 25%.  Apparently this is a subjective call.  Who knew?  So if it is subjective, I think I will stick with my original 30%, After all I have already painted 30 hearts...yep....I am sticking to 30!

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