life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Saturday, June 22, 2013

Make me Stronger

I want to be a very strong woman. However, I do not want tears. 

The question is…. can I do one without the other?

So many times in my past, when faced with difficulties I have put on my “emotional” suit of armor and muscled through the situation. I would not allow myself the luxury of emotion or more precisely fear, hurt, shame or any other negative feelings. I would control the situation (and my negative emotions) by simply walking away. I would consciously choose to focus on the positive, moving away from the negative people and/or situations as quickly as I possibly could.  

Looking back, it is beginning to feel like I am a champion at avoidance. 

Perhaps a strong woman is not just a tower of energy  but a fragile balance of the two sides. Strength and Weakness….Light and Dark …High and Low

Is it possible that exposing my shame, fear, hurt and weaknesses could make me stronger?

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