life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Make me Stronger

I want to be a very strong woman. However, I do not want tears. 

The question is…. can I do one without the other?

So many times in my past, when faced with difficulties I have put on my “emotional” suit of armor and muscled through the situation. I would not allow myself the luxury of emotion or more precisely fear, hurt, shame or any other negative feelings. I would control the situation (and my negative emotions) by simply walking away. I would consciously choose to focus on the positive, moving away from the negative people and/or situations as quickly as I possibly could.  

Looking back, it is beginning to feel like I am a champion at avoidance. 

Perhaps a strong woman is not just a tower of energy  but a fragile balance of the two sides. Strength and Weakness….Light and Dark …High and Low

Is it possible that exposing my shame, fear, hurt and weaknesses could make me stronger?

No comments:

Post a Comment