life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Monday, February 18, 2013

I am not “needy” I am “wanty”..... there is a big difference!

What a phenomenal few nights! 
Physically exhausted and emotionally challenged!

There have been so many incredible experiences that I could not begin to communicate them at this point, it will be days of “processing” before I can begin to get them in to perspective!

One thing that I have learned without question is that I am in pursuit of Life. That is capital “ L Life!  A full, outrageous creative life filled with joy, laughter, and experiences that push me to the edge.

I love having friends and family but I am strong enough to do this alone.  So you can just imagine how incredibly blessed I am to have amazing open hearted (and open minded) people in my life that want to and willingly share my life as well as support my (rarely sensible, slightly outrageous) ideas. 
For the first time in my life, I am ok with living LIFE on my own terms.   It is an amazing and extraordinarily freeing feeling! 

I do not need anything…. Everything I need for a most extraordinary creative life, I already have.

I  do want ……to go anywhere and everywhere my creative heart takes me.  No boundaries!
I am not “needy” I am “wanty”...there is a big difference!

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