life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Loosing Ground

I had to stop, re-group and remember this one, because I am angry and I want desperately to “throw dirt” at the medical industry.  

It is more business and less care. Fashioned after a corporate manufacturing business that produces immediate results, efficiency and profits, they have forgotten at its roots it should be about people. In emergency health situations, immediate results are easy to identify but in long-term chronic illnesses, they are truly in need of work.  

The medical industry plugs every health situation into a standard rubric to come up with the logical (you will be cured) conclusion. They have not figured out that chronic illness and our lives already have a “standard” conclusion, but it will not fit into the, “you will be cured” rubric. Trying to mash me into that rubric makes me (and the medical industry) feel like a failure. 

Nobody wins! 

It does not have to be like this! 

It should not be like this!

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