life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Monday, October 8, 2012

AMA again....

A day at the hospital was absolutely horrible.  I have been poked, prodded and pushed and the only answer was... that they wanted me to stay for a day or 2 longer in the cardiac unit, so they can do more. I cannot do more! Why can’t they understand, I cannot do more emotionally!  I cannot do more financially!  I cannot do hospitals.  I do not want to be sick, I do not want be around sick people and places.  I do not need molecular, enzymatic, nuclear electrical answers, to everything?  Just make this stop. I cannot stay in a hospital while they just look around and do test after test to tell me what I already know. I have another hospital black mark on my name and I have checked out AMA again. Why won't they understand?  Why don't they understand? 
Never again...
Never again!

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