life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The official list of "I Hate It When’s"

So, in the interest of my sanity, and my one year anniversary and since this is the forum to express myself; not the doctor’s office, I will keep this short and pithy…

I hate it when, I am forced to think about breathing or my heart beating.

I hate it when, my heart flip-flops and scares the be-Jesus out of me.

I hate it when my toes look and feel like "Snausages" doggie treats.

I hate it when, I have to tell Skip I don’t feel good —again.

I hate it when, I feel like death warmed over.

I hate it when, the nurse takes my blood while fighting with her boyfriend on a cell phone crooked in her neck.

I hate it when, I think of doctors (but I suspect they hate thinking about me, too)... We’re even!

I hate it when, doctors toss pills around like candy and....oh hell, I'm not going there....

I hate it when, my chest hurts and feels so full, I would not be surprised if the next moment looked like a scene from "Alien".

But...
I love that I am still here and I can come to this blog, and be myself, whatever myself is that day.

OOOOH...That felt good!

Happy Anniversary Heart, You are doing a great job!

1 comment:

  1. I love it when I think of you! You're a great role model. Dale F.

    ReplyDelete