life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Friday, July 6, 2018

What else can I do?

I do not think there is anyone that has had a big ugly life change that has not looked around and said “what did I do wrong?” or “what did I do to deserve this?”.  It is not fair…and if you believe in karma… well, there you go!  I deserved this.  Then there is a part of me that races back through my entire life to figure out what I did wrong.  Every bad judgment,  poor decision,  mistake, blunder, miscalculation and/or misstep roars into my head screaming at my heart…” you did this and now you will pay for it”!

Sadly the one thing I have learned through this process is there is nothing I can do now …to undo what I have done.  The only thing I get to do now is forgive myself and I do not think that will bring me much peace, but I will forgive myself anyway…..what else can I do?
"Same Mistake" James Blount

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