life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Friday, September 20, 2013

What's Next?

My life seems to flow in stages….I bet everyone’s does this may not be big news to anyone.

The biggest swath was dedicated to being a Momma, although sandwiched in there, out of necessity were years of working, too. The work was fulfilling, but I always knew that that particular job was not what I was “meant” to do. It was the beginning but not the end.

The next identifiable stage was when I began painting and drawing. That erupted pretty quick and there was a gut feeling this was right. Many years on the eastern US art festival circuit finally allowed me to give up the picture framing business and Studio E, Inc. officially closed . It truly was one of the most exciting, challenging parts of my life. As I look back, I realize it was the part of my life that I most enjoyed and was truly satisfied both emotionally and financially.

I have attempted to go back and recreate that life, but I knew better, you cannot go backwards. It never works and this was not different. It was a miserable failure.

So… the question that plagues me is what is next. I am trying so hard to be patient and aware of opportunities. Clearly, teaching continues to show up and I do enjoy it, and there is a part of me deep down in my soul that knows this is part of why I am here.  Is this what I am supposed to leave on this earth. Creative Courage….is this what’s next…..creative courage. I need to find some, create some, and leave some.


        "Follow Me"  Uncle Kracker

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