life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Monday, November 19, 2012

Fire Up the Keg-er-ator, Here Comes Your Momma and the Green Bean Casserole!

Holy CRAP!!!
It is that time of year already and there is a wiff of turkey in the air.  I am lacing up my “go” shoes and getting ready to head out of here.   Last year the official Evan’s Thanksgiving was delightfully non-traditional. We celebrated on Wednesday, the night before, at the Outback Steak House, a thick cut medium rare steak and lots and lots of beer = a full tummy and a nice buzz! .  No cooking, no cleaning, no leftovers.   The PERFECT THANKSGIVING!

I was not always this cynical, there were many many many years that I spent the entire Thanksgiving day in my tiny little kitchen, messing up every pot, pan and dish we owned, producing a semi-perfect Thanksgiving dinner for what felt like a cast of thousands. Then washing all those pots and pans and dishes, and cramming tons of leftovers into an already overwhelmed refrigerator.  I can appreciate the first Thanksgiving story, but have never really understood how that story translates into me wedged in a tiny kitchen all day and night, performing unspeakable heinous acts of cooking....Damn you Pilgrims! 

My version of "Over the River and Through the Woods" is heading up I-75 to Gainesville to spend T-day with my sons, and all of my grandsons (that is all 4 of my little guys), 3 of my best big guys and a smoked turkey with all the trimmings (cooked by #1 son and his awesome wife).  Yes, it will be a very traditional Thanksgiving day, which has not been my style lately, but there will be beer! 
Let me see...No cooking, no cleaning, no leftovers (for me anyway) a full tummy and a nice buzz....hmmmmm- this will fit nicely into my current idea of the perfect Thanksgiving! 

Fire up the keg-er-ator, Jason, here comes your Momma and the green bean casserole!


  1. That's something to be THANKFUL for!!!

  2. I am INCREDIBLY thankful!!! For a loving family, for phenomenal friends, for my kick-butt heart and a most marvelous creative life!