life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

whining......

The question I still cannot seem to find the answer to is, will I ever come to terms with the physical limitations and reoccurring illness imposed by a sick heart?
Will I ever really learn how not to surrender to the psychological effects?

Accepting the inevitable is easy when compared to living the every day details of a compromised life. I know and understand on an intellectual level that one of my biggest challenge is maintaining balance. I have learned that accepting limitations without becoming an invalid is a prickly crooked path. But, on days like today, it is so hard and incredibly lonely.

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