life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

I Understand...

Frustrating only comes slightly close to describing how I feel right now, and I am obscenely aware of how much these feelings are most probably attributed to the amount of steroids I am now taking. 

I understand that I am whining!
I understand that I should be grateful for all of the awesome great days I have had.
        And I have certainly had more than my share!
I understand this is part of this and it is my challenge to live through it.
I need someone to understand how frustrating this is, I do not like it and I am so damn tired.

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