life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

I Understand...

Frustrating only comes slightly close to describing how I feel right now, and I am obscenely aware of how much these feelings are most probably attributed to the amount of steroids I am now taking. 

I understand that I am whining!
I understand that I should be grateful for all of the awesome great days I have had.
        And I have certainly had more than my share!
I understand this is part of this and it is my challenge to live through it.
I need someone to understand how frustrating this is, I do not like it and I am so damn tired.

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