life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Monday, September 6, 2010

The First Casualty

I have made concessions to this disease. It has affected my daily life and has been extremely frustrating, but I can honestly report that until this weekend I did not feel like I had missed out on any event that I really wanted to participate in.

This was the first real casualty, the first time that the disease won. This time it has literally taken life away from me. Fear and pain paralyzed me, and I gave up a wonderful opportunity to share an experience with my children.
I hate this!
How much more life will I allow heart failure claim?

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