life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


After all, of my recent doctor/hospital experiences I have ample evidence that supports my statement “caring interested engaged health care professional are only found on sappy TV shows and in my wishful imagination”.

I expected another dose of the health care that I had become accustomed to and felt like the next visit to The Heart Failure Clinic would be the same, if not worse. As much as I truly understand what kind of shape my heart is in, there will always be this little thread of hope that runs in the background. Just the words heart failure sounded like I was cutting my last little thread. It was not hard to figure out why I was not anxious to go to some place called The Heart Failure Clinic. Not only did the heart failure clinic have all of my personal negative baggage working against it, it also has a dubious location in the Orange County Health department building, downtown Orlando, on the corner of Westmoreland and Pine, one block off Paramore St. If you live in the area, you have the picture, and it is not pretty!

I approached this appointment with all the defenses I could muster up. However, I was incredibly surprised and amazed when everything I imagined and prepared for turned out to be so wrong! Although the actual location did in fact live up to all of my scary expectations, the people that run this clinic were the most caring, considerate, professional, medical practitioners I have ever been involved with! They are awesome and I am grateful that I am in their care. They are the first ones that understand this situation has a physical and emotional part. I am not a hopeless case because they cannot “fix it”. I look forward to partnering with them to create the most optimal life available to me.
Thank you Universe!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Cheryl,
    I'm so glad you have still have your thread of hope, and I'm so glad that you encountered some caring healthcare professionals. I have 2 very caring nurses in my family, so I know they do exist....finding them can be a miracle though! So, here's to your miracle for the day!