life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure. I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Wednesday, November 14, 2018

The "what-if's"

Breathing is a good thing… 2 weeks of wheezing and hacking are finally ending!  Holy Crap!  Each time I have these fairly routine rounds of pneumonia they get harder and harder to whip!  This time it took 2 rounds of antibiotics and upping the steroids.  The great news is that I have a nebulizer (which we doubled) and Oxygen at home.  The equipment and weekly nurse visits keep me out of the hospital, and that is the best thing! Hospice is awesome!

It feels great to just feel good again and so looking forward to taking some of my life back!  On the “damned if you do-damned if you don’t” program we have decided to keep the steroids at a higher dosage.  They do seem to make my life stronger but they come with a “what if” kidney side effects down the road price and more of an immune system compromise.  But the risk is worth it!  This choice is an easy one for me (and apparently easy for the docs, too).  It is all about life NOW…having the best most productive life I can get right now…After years and years and years of the “deny pleasure, patience is a virtue, wait, save” program, it feels kind of strange to work from an opposite point of view…but it also really does feel kind of good, and I find myself wondering why I did not think this way much earlier in life, not all of the time….but more of the time… I think I would have been much happier!
"Good Life" One Republic

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