life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure. I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Wednesday, October 10, 2018

More than just regular old undiagnosed bipolar....It's friggen' Multi-polar!

At least once a year, I feel the need to pay homage to what I feel must be my 432nd round of undiagnosed multi-polar-ness. It is so much more than just BI-polar, it is the full round of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s stages of grief!  The book does not explain that you will go through these steps again and again and again if you have a long terminal illness. Successfully working through all of the steps once, only offers temporary quasi-nirvana… it never ever sticks!  Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance run their way through my life on an almost routine recognizable basis.  I will celebrate and revel in acceptance each time I get to that point, only to find that after a while “acceptance” is friggen’ depressing, at which point I choose denial to pull me through the depression….and there you go…I am off on another round of the Kubler-Ross stages of grief!  I guess as an artist, I see no particular value in doing these steps in the prescribed order, so the bargaining and anger, are dealt with as they arrive but I do recognize them and I do have to work through those damn buggars again and again too!
"On a Carousel" The Hollies

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