life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Saturday, August 31, 2013

not thinking....

When my direction in life is challenged, I find that I tend to run back into the art. The question then becomes is the creativity my tool for avoiding the problems or is it a way to deal with them. Tucked away in the studio I can focus singularly on the work. The studio is like my magic room, it is the one place I can go where reality cannot reach me.

Maybe there are times when dealing with reality and the problems of life are better served by not thinking about them at all.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

and sometimes, they just "fall" out of me

Some days I struggle, no inspiration, some days plenty of inspiration but the work will not gel and then there are wonderful days like to day.  It just happens with so little effort!

" So just let it go and see where it lands."

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

not buying the stories....

"The next time you lose heart and you can't bear to experience what you're feeling, you might recall this instruction: change the way you see it and lean in. Instead of blaming our discomfort on outer circumstances or on our own weakness, we can choose to stay present and awake to our experience, not rejecting it, not grasping it, not buying the stories that we relentlessly tell ourselves. This is priceless advice that addresses the true cause of suffering - yours, mine, and that of all living beings."
—Pema Chodron

Saturday, August 10, 2013

2013 Artist'sWay Celebration of Creativity....Deconstruction

And another awesome Summer Artist's Way Group
Dances into the Artist's Way Family of Creatives!
A wonderful exhibition a tremendous celebration of creativity.
What a magnificent summer! 

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Worth it?


Have taken a few chances lately, they have the possibility of changing my life, but it is the “let it” part that brings my wheels to a grinding screeching halt. I have so much to figure out. There are dear friends and family that offer with help and advice but I seem to continue to be unable and/or unwilling to accept those offers. I promise I will look at the chances less critically, open my heart to more experiences and trust that these events are coming into my life for reasons that I just do not get to understand right now, but I will someday, I will.