life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Friday, March 16, 2012

reality...

Pain is not a "thing" in itself; it is a sensation, which I have labeled as bad.  I think the hurting has been more emotional than physical; I have had such a wonderful few months full of energy and hope.  I was certain that I was going to be the only one to beat this.  Ugly sensations usher in reality and I am afraid.

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