life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

It’s a Fine Line


Sometimes it is true, If you ignore it will go away, but here is the rub….It always comes back!

When I ignore the disease and function like a “normal person”, I get tired really fast and take more naps than I like, but in general I feel better about myself and my friends and family seem to be much more comfortable around me. However, the HF people worry and accuse me of denial. Believe me…I am disgustingly aware…I am not in denial!

Giving the disease free reign over my life constantly reminds me and others of my limitations. Modifying my activities does not always seem to “conserve my energy” as the nurses said it should. It just makes me feel like I really am sick and not whole… all of the time.

There is a fine line between thinking positively and ignoring the reality and I flirt with both sides on a regular basis.

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