life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure. I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Wednesday, October 2, 2019

The last of my “to-do’s”!


Here it is….the last of my “to-do’s”!  A new for me used Kia Soul. Much much easier for me to get in and out of.  Do not have to climb UP into it with a stool or squat down to get in and out.  The seats are the perfect height to just sit down.  Another great part is I got to trade in Skip’s truck and my van for an even trade, no money out of my pocket!  All I knew was that I could no longer drive those 2 big vehicles, and letting them sit was going to be more damaging over time. Keeping them would have cost me more in maintenance and insurance.

I will confess that letting go of the van was hard and I cried…so many great memories of all of the art shows we did, all of the places we went. Spending the night in it with an air mattress when we could not afford a hotel room.  Sometimes it feels like I am selling, trading and giving away parts of him, parts of our lives and memories.  The changes and decisions are difficult to make and I am used to having him here to advise me.  He always allowed me to make the final call but I always needed and respected his input.  Making these big decisions on my own is different and challenges my own self-confidence.

It has been almost 2 months of huge life changes, and I want desperately for this to be the last big change I have to make.  I do not want any more changes.

"Change"  Blind Mellon

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