life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure. I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


.

.

Friday, October 18, 2019

Release it ???


It seems so simple.  But like so many things that look simple, the actual execution is really hard.  I always equated simple with easy.  It is just another lie I have told myself my entire life. For the dead and dying, death is simple…one moment you are here the next moment you are not.  For the living, there is nothing simple about it.  The emotions are overwhelming.  The amount of business associated with death is ridiculous.  Established family dynamics change.  The ability for most people to relate to a grieving person is all but impossible.  Everything has changed and none of it is simple.  Yesterday, I went by myself to Lowes to buy a plant.  (although I have comfortably been out with friends and family, this was only the 2nd time I have gone out by myself) and I almost feel guilty for doing things I used to do by myself.  I have witnessed it, I have allowed myself to experience all of the feelings that came along with it…but I am still having a struggle releasing those feelings of guilt.  The guilt of resuming a life without you. How do I let that go, release it?  I do not think I ever will.

"If You Could Read My Mind"  Gordon Lightfoot

No comments:

Post a Comment