It seems so simple.
But like so many things that look simple, the actual execution is really
hard. I always equated simple with easy.
It is just another lie I have told
myself my entire life. For the dead and dying, death is simple…one moment you
are here the next moment you are not.
For the living, there is nothing simple about it. The emotions are overwhelming. The amount of business associated with death
is ridiculous. Established family
dynamics change. The ability for most
people to relate to a grieving person is all but impossible. Everything has changed and none of it is
simple. Yesterday, I went by myself to
Lowes to buy a plant. (although I have
comfortably been out with friends and family, this was only the 2nd
time I have gone out by myself) and I almost feel guilty for doing things I
used to do by myself. I have witnessed
it, I have allowed myself to experience all of the feelings that came along
with it…but I am still having a struggle releasing those feelings of guilt. The guilt of resuming a life without you. How
do I let that go, release it? I do not think I ever will.
"If You Could Read My Mind" Gordon Lightfoot
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