Sideways

Sideways is a good description of my recent life! I recognize how things should be, but I know some never will and then there are other things I should do and be and are doable but I just can’t.  Life has gone sideways!  There are days that my head and heart want to do something and my body just craps out on me, and the same thing happens in reverse….it is maddening!  

I decided I would not do an indoor Christmas tree, but I would do simple outdoor decorations. I was a light string short and the blow-up Christmas penguin sprung a leak.  Then there has been the gross rat invasion after the next door “hoarder house” was cleaned. (She lived there for years, with 2 dogs but the last 6 weeks without power or water, it took a 4 person hazmat team to 2 dumpsters to clean it out). The cleanout was followed by an exodus of rats into the neighborhood!  I caught 3 in traps, then in an effort to stop up and possible entry point with that expandable insulation spray can, I trapped one inside the wall, I cannot begin to explain the putrid smell. The bottom section of the porch screen door "fell" out, the one with the cat door. It has felt like I am paddling hard as I can and accomplishing nothing.  I am not standing still.  I am moving as fast as I can, which admittedly is not that fast, in fact, it feels more like doing nothing more than stamping out fires before they overwhelm me.

I am not moving forward or backward…but I am moving to just maintain. I just wish it was faster, better, healthier, recovered, etc. etc.  Although I prefer to acknowledge that sideways is better than downward or completely immobile. I am accepting sideways as a positive thing.

"Everyday is a Winding Road"  Sheryl Crow

PS...got another string of lights, ordered "Rat sorb" overnight from Amazon it seems to be working thank goodness, a new blow-up snowman on the way and I have the bottom of the door and a healthy supply of duct tape out on the table for repair, my day is full moving sideways!