life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure. I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Wednesday, December 11, 2019

HELP-ER vs HELP-EE


The most heinous part of losing a loved one are the sneak attacks of overwhelming uncontrollable grief.  I understand that grieving people call them “triggers” and they can be anything! They are brought on by a situation, a memory, a smell, a song, food, a photograph, a grocery store...it can be absolutely any ridiculous thing known or unknown! And that is precisely why they are so unavoidable and overwhelming.  I am learning how to “check-in” with myself, especially after or during a trigger, figuring out what it was, how to avoid it or at the very least acknowledge that there is one coming and prepare myself.

I am now wondering if I can activate that same “check-in” when there is something that helps, creates a giggle, makes me feel better.  Yesterday I got to help. It was as simple as helping my son drop off and pick up his car for some work.  Yesterday I got to be the HELPER …NOT the HELP-EE…and it really felt good!
"Have a Little Faith in Me" Michael Franti

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