life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure. I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Monday, December 30, 2019

A gift to myself...


Letting go of Skip and our holiday traditions was terribly difficult and at times overwhelming, but I am learning how to move forward, to experience the grief and embrace the gifts as they come to me…But I have also found myself in a situation with someone that seems to enjoy and elevate their own drama and chaos without the ability to acknowledge or empathize with what others may be going through. I have to find the greater power to let this go. Trying to understand it, explain it, wondering why and wanting to help is a dangerous act of enabling and inviting more grief into my own life.  I have been hurt beyond measure and been angry. Now I need to find the power to walk away from this, to focus on healing, to love, forgive, and let go of self-serving emotional destruction. Forgiveness is critical for healing, however, forgetting leaves me open to more of this kind of pain.  The lesson is to forgive, but do not forget.  Letting go is my gift to myself.
"Closer to Fine"  Indigo Girls

"When sudden death erupts into your life, your whole way of understanding the world is rocked. Previous interests – even things you loved – can seem futile. You aren’t the person you were before. This experience of love that you’re living has knocked you off course. When you gain your footing again – and that takes the time it takes – you’re going to be facing a different direction. You’ll have to find out how you fit here now, who you are in this new place."
 ~Megan Devine

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