life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure. I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Wednesday, December 25, 2019

It is Christmas morning…


It is Christmas morning…after the cinnamon buns are done, I will be going to Darren’s to see what Santa brought.  Last night as I sat on the porch with my vodka and tonic, as I do every night the tears began rolling as I realized it was the first time in 46 years he has not been here for Christmas Eve, then it dawned on me it was the first time EVER I have been alone on Christmas Eve. Memories began flooding back, the Christmases’ we did not have the money for much of anything and we built a toy box, painted old second-hand school desks.  Then came the nights we spent until dawn assembling. There were the “Go” Christmases, big wheels, bicycles, and skateboards.  I swear when I woke up this morning I could hear from a distance the squealing of 2 little boys…”He’s been here-he’s been here!” I suspect I have had more happy Christmas memories than most people will have in a lifetime.  I am grateful beyond measure, but the hole in my heart and life is still overwhelming at times.  I love and miss you!

"All I want for Christmas is You"  Micheal Buble

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