Each day I am forced to figure out “how do I do this by
myself”? There have been so many things I
no longer have the strength to do on my own and he was always there to pick up
my slack. One of those was helping me
build and stretch my own gallery canvas. I had always done that in the past on
my own. But recently he would cut and join the frame, I could still stretch and
gesso the canvas. I am often caught
between grieving his loss as well as the shocking daily reminders of all that he did
for me. As the deadline for “nude nite” jury looms I have vacillated back and
forth, thinking maybe last year was it.
However, my heart still wants to create, to return to a place where I
feel normal. I just feel like I have overwhelming odds against me. But I have
been sketching and I ordered some pre-made canvas…maybe I can do this…all by
myself…with other new kinds of help.
"If" Bread
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