The size of my world...

“How can any of us who have lived intense grief, who know far too well that the unusual and unlikely do in fact happen, all the time – how do we live here? How do we keep showing up?

It’s not a question with an answer. It’s an edge even I don’t like to walk. But it’s there, it’s constant. The knowledge that every beautiful thing can disappear, and yet we make beauty anyway.

The knowledge that when we choose to love, we choose to face death and grief and loss, again and again and again, just as much as we choose the friendlier parts of love.

It’s all there, present and contained, in everything.

How do we do it? How do we continue to live here, in this fragile, resilient existence, knowing what we know? How do we keep exploring, growing, connecting, knowing that indeed, yes: it could happen again?

For me, these days, this means moving slowly, with intention and gentleness for myself. It means being honest about my fears while not letting those fears shove me into a tiny, unsatisfied life.”

 ~Megan Devine

I personally have decreased the size of my world, keeping it small and manageable on a daily basis. I do not have to have it figured out, right now.   The fact that accepting love again from anyone means that I have to be able of open myself to this kind of loss again.  Love and loss are a part of life.  I do not know if or when I will have the strength to open up my heart to the size it used to be.  But I am working on it!

"A World Wiithout Love"  Peter & Gordon