There is nothing to be fixed, it is part of life

In the first few months, I was told it would “get better” it is just going to take time to get through this and we all move through grief in our own way. There is a huge hole in my life.  I knew even then this was something I would never get over.  I needed to find ways to stay with it, to stay beside that gaping hole, to find ways to stay present with it and not just skip over it, get better or heal.  I never will.  Pain and grief are part of life. They’re part of love. And no part of love is ever dismissed like it was nothing.

Living alongside grief is the real challenge to my heart. Understanding that this is more of a balancing act. Instead of talking about how to get out of grief, I need to be in here with the grief. Not turning away but allowing grief and gratitude to coexist.

Knowing myself, opening up to new ideas, or reliving old experiences, listening to what is true for me, responding with care and compassion to my own needs.  With help, I am listening to my own heart allowing it to guide me. There’s no moving through and away from this kind of loss as if it were just a blip on the GPS, it was the whole GPS itself going dark.

I desperately wanted a road map, a magic bean, or a pill especially when the pain is new and fresh and intense. But there is no map. The only compass is my own heart. Finding ways to hear me

– that’s the true work. It’s not a solution. No part of love gets dismissed. There is nothing to be fixed it is part of life.

"Undone" The Guess Who