life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure. I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


.

.

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

When things sneak up and bite me on the butt....


About the time I feel like I’ve got this under control, something comes up and bites me on the butt and I realize, I got nothing under control! Those normal, unexpected, ordinary, run of the mill everyday things that literally sneak up on me from behind bite me, chew me up and spit me out!

An old friend of Skip’s drops by for an unannounced visit…I mean an old friend back from the Boy Scouts, Little League days, of course, he was shocked to hear Skip had died, I was embarrassed that I had not gotten touch with him earlier, but after that first few weeks how do you make that phone call? Repeating what happened was not difficult, but dredged up all of the out of control grief and fear that Monday morning.

Then Monday was junk hauling day, it was a two-fer ass biting event. Watching my picture framing equipment loaded into the back of the junk truck felt like I was losing the definition of who I was, who I am, and where my strength was, and then up into the storage aka Skip’s workbench space and again I was overcome by grief that I was letting go of the things that were part of him.

I know these things are necessary for my life to move forward, but no one explains how emotionally grueling it is!
"Details in the Fabric"  Jason Mraz

No comments:

Post a Comment