I recall vividly and still see it on my bad days, the look and
the unsaid words by those that want to grab me by the short hairs and scream, “You
aren’t over this yet?” Under my breath…I
answer No…you asshole I will never be over this….but some days are better than
others. Skip’s death blew a giant crater in me, my life, and my family. At first, I immediately went to work filling
the whole, only to find out it was a bottomless pit. The more love, emotion, and care that I put in
it exactly… that much would leach out. I
was taught that this hole can never be filled in or covered up or ignored. It is love, pure love, and that never goes
away. I am learning to honor and respect
my damage and scars but to also begin building a life on the edge of the
crater. I cannot go backward, I cannot
do it the way I used to, I am not who I used to be…and that is ok.
"Back to Life" EnVogue
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