life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure. I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Thursday, September 20, 2018

Plan A and spoon accountability

I do not remember being formally trained to manage things like my finances, my time, my household but I can tell you that eventually, I figured it out by the seat of my pants…and I did it well (most of the time, anyway)! I still have significant struggles with this relatively new concept of energy management.  Energy management only becomes a problem when you cannot do what I and other people want me to do.  In the past my own energy (or lack of) was never considered, you do not stop until the job is done…period…that was the official energy management plan.   Like money and time, I am great at spending it…not always so good at saving and conserving it.  I began using the “spoonie” method several months ago.  Visually creating a spoon bouquet in my wine glass, adding and taking away spoons that represented units of energy. It is a wonderful visual cue of how much energy I had used and how much was left.  It worked great at first, I loved the visual aid. Because clearly, I cannot figure it out on my own!   But as all control freaks will admit, when plan A begins to limit me…there is always something else to manipulate that will get me to my end goal.  My easy shot was really easy…just forget to move the spoons, my visual aid always told me I had more energy to spend and I can keep going, unfortunately, my body no longer participates with my devious plans and is holding routine revolts! 
It is back to Plan A and spoon accountability...
"Coming Around Again"  Carly Simon

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