Just when I think I am doing so well, then there is stay in
place, and I feel like I have been losing ground. All of a sudden this comes across my computer
screen and I get what I have been doing.
At first, I worked like a crazy woman, cleaning out closets, cupboards, throwing
out and donating bags and bags of stuff, some were Skip’s but not all. As that began waning, the opportunity to be a
part of Nude Nite and another exhibition (that has been canceled) and the
studio was wonderfully frantic!
But now…after 3 weeks of confinement…stir crazy is setting
in and I find myself not only fighting all that comes with that but also
wrestling with the emotions of losing Skip again. Wondering if I am just plain crazy or even
masochistic…maybe this post explains it and this whole virus thing may be a
gift that forces me to finally finish this emotional work, acknowledging the
sudden death of a loved one is more than just death it is a trauma. I am not implying that a quick unexpected
death is more painful than a death that is expected. The best analogy I can come up with is,
slowly peeling back a band-aid spreading the pain out over time or just ripping
it off. I suspect it is the same amount
of pain, just a different experience of it.
My band-aid may still be hanging on.
"Haven't Got Time for the Pain" Carly Simon
No comments:
Post a Comment