I come from a very “appropriate” background…you may define “appropriate”
in a thousand different ways that may shock some! But in this case, it is about appropriate
behavior while grieving. It had been
well defined by my experiences in earlier life of family and friends. The best word I can think of is “stoic”. We were taught to cover our own feelings, no
crying in pubic, and no matter what was said you nod your head, smile
graciously and say thank you. Then it is
all over in a couple of weeks and life goes back to normal…WRONG…
“Our cultural history of pretending that grief is no big deal,
of not allowing grief to take up space or have a voice has actually caused a
lot of our epidemics of depression, anxiety, drug addiction, interpersonal
violence, and other challenges. That's what happens when you don't allow your emotional reality
to take up the space it needs. That's what happens when you don't allow the
truth to have space to exist. It's not that your pain goes away, it finds other
ways to speak. Wherever you
are in your grief, whatever path you’re currently on: write. Write to give your
future self a portal back to here. Write to give yourself an anchor to your
heart.” ~ Megan
Devine
Learning how to grieve
seems ridiculous, but believe me, it takes a set of skills that I did not have. I am still working on it...I am a slow learner!
"Story of Your Life" Mathew West
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