life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure. I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Sunday, December 30, 2018

…..wish I had done this all of my life!

I cannot speak for everyone, but for myself, I can definitely say my entire life was spent making decisions based on fear and what should not happen.  Like I should not look like I do not know what I am doing, I should not look like I do not know everything I need to know, I should not look like I do not know how to dress, raise children, decorate my home, balance my checkbook perfectly (every month), plant the perfect garden, be the all-knowing artist….and the list goes on and on and on!

And THEN, I had to deal with the medical industry….whoosh…that is the quintessential place where making decisions is always based on fear and how much money they can separate you from.  They will never let you decide to walk away from a test, medication or procedure.  And if you disagree, you get labeled non-compliant, which I suspect does nothing more than relieve them and their insurance company of all malpractice liability.  

Through, horrible medically self-serving advice, old age, and hospice I am learning that I have made decisions all wrong my entire life!  Now everything is based on NO FEAR, what I want to happen and how I want to feel!  …..wish I had done this all of my life!
"Bitch" Meridith Brooks (acoustic) 

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