life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure. I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Monday, May 14, 2018

Rainy Days & Mondays

I think that when it rains first thing Monday morning, that whining would not only be permitted but encouraged!  And they are predicting days of rain, I am already exhausted and feeling quite “moldy” after 2 days of cloudy schmutz…now it is full on raining!

This past week I have had a couple of come to Jesus moments and it is becoming difficult to handle emotionally and physically.  This business of how much I can do “comfortably” is such a weird thing!  To be quite frank, I have never really understood exactly what that means.  Not certain I know yet. What I do know….is that I don’t know…Are you confused yet?  So am I!  It seems that I am hitting a serious wall and what I want to do is getting frustratingly compromised with the price I have to pay afterward.  Even when I make serious efforts to mitigate the amount of “after effects” they seem to be getting more and more debilitating and the price my body demands I pay for it is getting higher.  The wicked part of this is….I want my life to be active and full, my desire to be normal always overshadow my ability to make better choices about what I can physically do. The physical price my body demands after the fact is getting bigger and uglier each time I try to live my life!  I want my old life back!

"Rainy Days & Mondays"  The Carpenters

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