life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure. I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Monday, March 12, 2018

I am OK with NOT knowing

It has taken years and years of being afraid I will be judged by the Christians in my life, but finally, I have nothing to lose, it is not about being judged and rewarded or punished.  It is about being honest with me.

I am “AGNOSTIC”. 
Wikipedia says agnostic means you believe  "the truth values of certain claims — especially metaphysical and religious claims such as whether or not God, the divine or the supernatural exists are unknown and perhaps unknowable.” Gnosis is from the Greek word knowing; agnostic is simply a state of not knowing.   It's a belief system that, according to a recent survey, is held by up to 23 percent of Americans. (Although, the survey also grouped atheists with agnostics, so that number may actually be a bit lower.)

Being agnostic does not mean I hate religion. In fact, many agnostics (like me) were raised Christian, and still consider themselves “culturally religious”. I do not reject religion as the one true way to a heaven; I’m just not convinced there is a heaven, hell, the underworld, purgatory, or aliens, ancient or otherwise. Everlasting life does seem to be the main objective of most religion. Leading a good life by the prescribed rules buys you a divine happily ever life after death.  Breaking the rules means there will be horror and pain after you die.  It is a simple reward/punish system that requires suspending belief in scientific laws. If or when I do good, it is simply because I love and it feels good to do so, not because there is a reward or punishment waiting for me after death.

“Occam’s Razor” is a scientific theory of dealing with problems with multiple and equal answers, makes sense to me.  It is the problem-solving principle that, when presented with competing hypothetical answers to a question, the simplest explanation that makes the fewest assumptions is typically the correct one.  I have observed that most religions are laden with stories of magic, the supernatural and other claims have scientifically been proven could not have existed then or now. I have also always been personally traumatized by the amount of heinous brutality committed in the name of organized religion with the purpose of promoting love. I will acknowledge that organized religion has inspired some of our greatest historical figures and some of the most giving, loving, kind people I know. But it has also provoked some of the most hateful, intolerant, hypocrites too.

I freely choose agnosticism; it frees me to think that anything concerning the spiritual, the sciences or the metaphysical is possible. Being agnostic means I can, and do question everything, and I am willing to listen to other intelligent opinions as well as my own heart and soul, to do the work and research to find out why I do or do not choose to believe.  It means I can question, be completely open to and genuinely value every spiritual belief system. It means that when I or other agnostics do something kind or good, we are doing it from our hearts, not because of the expectations of reward or punishment in the afterlife. 

Being agnostic brings me peace. I'm perfectly comfortable not knowing, or even thinking I'm capable of knowing all the answers to all the endless questions.  The fact is I think it would be pretty arrogant to assume that I or anyone else for that matter could ever know with total certainty that there is or isn't one or many divine beings out there calling all of the shots in the universe. Not knowing does not bother me.  I can accept the concept that all beliefs about life and death are based on unimaginable uncertainty. 

I am agnostic, the only mystical thing I believe in without question…is love.
"All That We Let In"  Indigo Girls

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