What most people do not understand about long-term chronic illness…is how much energy I spend convincing you that I am fine! I know how uncomfortable you are around me. I watch awkward reactions from friends and family that are unsure how to acknowledge or ignore this illness that is now a part of me. Being out in public or being around you does require some pretty impressive acting skills and some of us are better at it than others. The obligations as a parent, Nana, wife, artist or just a plain person that I never had to think about before now require serious examination of the amount of energy I really have as opposed to the amount of energy I think I should have. I am not sure where I fall on the performance scale or how believable I am but I think it is pretty good, you all tell me how great I look, even when there is an o2 tube poked up my nose…I find myself immersed in a chronic series of performances and I am never sure if the performance is to convince you or to convince me.
"A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You" Monkees
No comments:
Post a Comment