This is it.....

This is the advice I give others on a regular basis….perhaps it is time for me to take another gulp of it myself.  

I seem to wave back and forth from conservative, behaved, do exactly what I am supposed to do (which kind of comes with taking a shit load of medicine at prescribed times) and longing for the bohemian life I used to have (and by the way, never really appreciated). I seem to be living on the edge of fear, rules, and expected behavior always afraid I am going to slip into it.  I do not mean actually fighting the disease, it is pretty amazing all of the machines and medicines I have available to me for that.  The real struggle is to keep my head out of the “I am sick” mentality.  I see others dealing with terminal disease and they seem to be willingly drowning in it.  They let their illness take over their lives.  It is easy to focus on what is wrong, spending precious time, energy and financial resources to try to stop something that is going to happen to every single one of us.  There are absolutely no exceptions.

I am listening to every little whisper; celebrating life…it takes the same amount of energy as fighting the disease, but is so much more fun and I do not want to waste any of it!  This is the magic of life…I am listening…this is it!

"She Just Wants to Dance"  Keb Mo