I, and I suspect most of us, have spent a good part of our lives living up to other peoples expectations. I was so busy molding my life into a functioning and publicly acceptable product that I never really became a genuine me.
As this disease unfolded, I found myself looking to others for the correct acceptable role to play. A few soap opera characters popped up right away the martyr, the poor young thing and the tower of strength. All of these personas worked for a little while, but I found that at the end of the day I was emotionally exhausted from wearing a mask that was not me.
This disease is making me search for the genuine me. I am learning move closer to my fear, make friends with myself and trust that my broken heart will lead the way to the genuine me.
But...be on guard my soap opera characters often pop out uninvited when I am confused and do not know what to do or how to act.
life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings
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