…that is what I tell myself at least 14 times a day, and
sometimes more. I think it is a
variation of the “fake it until you make it” scenario…and now that I really
have to do it…it is feeling like a bunch of BULL shit…but there are some things
that just have to be done. Weekends are the
worst, I guess that is the time that you would be here all day. During the week I can fool myself that you are
just at work and will call at 4:00 pm, like you always did. I struggle through nights, weekends, and then I am met every Monday by the horrible memories of that last day. I wonder if you know that I would give my own
life just to have a few more moments with you. I still cry inconsolably several
times a day, I still cannot believe this happened…I cannot accept that you are
truly gone…and I still have to lie to myself 14 times a day…”I got this” and I wonder, will this ever really stop?
"Here, There and Everywhere" The Beatles
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