It is all giggles and grins until it happens to me….Holy Crap!! After a week of wicked muscle cramps, and I am not talking about “charlie horses” I am talking about full on there is some kind of demon inside of me twisting, squeezing, stabbing, cussing, crying and physically contorting every muscle from my toes right up to my armpits MUSCLE CRAMPs! Those lower leg calf cramps I have had in the past, where I hopped out of bed and limped around my bedroom cussing in the dark trying to stretch that calf muscle until it let go and relaxed…… were NOTHING…those calf cramps were the piss ants of muscle cramps compared to these “mothers”!
So, Ed (my hospice nurse and after this week, aka as my personal hero) knew just what it was and how to make it stop. I was sure that the only reasonable answer to stop this mess would be a lifetime supply of free-flowing muscle relaxers …surprisingly that was not the answer. Clearly, the reason I am not in the medical profession! The cure was as simple as doubling up on the potassium and orange juice! Last night I stayed down until 3:30 am, which before this past week would be completely unacceptable, but last night it was a little bit of heaven to sleep uninterrupted and cramp free for that many hours!
There is a full on medical explanation for this crappy new set of circumstances that unfortunately make perfect sense… but I will not bore you with that, quite frankly it bores me…all I need to know is “make it stop”. I am now at the point of this lousy situation that the “fix” for one set of problems is often responsible for setting off a whole other set of equally vicious problems. It is a variation of that old saying “damned if you do….damned if you don’t” And I am here to tell you… the only way to survive is to laugh.
"Heal Yourself" Ruthie Foster
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