….it is not difficult to see my grown children repeat the
past. I was raised in a generation that women were expected to find all of their
joy in producing and caring for children, husbands and home. If you wanted to work (or God forbid….had
too) there would be no help from husbands, physical or emotional. Our parents came from the same warped set of
values....we repeated it. Now, I clearly see the next generation doing the same,
setting them up for inevitable failure. Unable to acknowledge how much damage
living a life according to other people’s expectation created, the problem goes
on unrecognized, and no steps are taken to repair the emotional damage, the
misery and the hurt moves from generation to generation.
It has taken years for me to recognize that I did not need
to feel guilty for not being the same kind of “good mother” or how difficult it
was to parent the way everyone else did. But I did, And when I see them repeat
the same behaviors… that I was afraid to speak up for myself for fear I would lose
their love, I realize how much of a failure I was….and for that I am sorry.
"Reflections" Diana Ross
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