Mentally, emotionally and spiritually…letting go of a life time of expectations, real or imagined is much harder than I thought. On some level it feels like playing Jenga. If I pull out one block of “hard and fast” beliefs, it impacts unexpected and unrelated beliefs or all of it falls apart and comes crashing down. Sometimes it does all crash down. On those days, my first reaction is to run back to all of my old rules and beliefs, they will guarantee I am right or protect me. Ugly fears and the overwhelming need to be loved and liked screams at me and I think maybe I should hold on to some of it. That is when I realize returning to the same rules, feelings and situations have produced a lifetime of fear resentments and unrealistic needs..I have to make the tough decision to let it go.
"They" Jem
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