How many of my expectations and reactions are actually mine, and how many of them are preprogrammed emotional responses from parents, church, school and generational social standards?
There are big issues in my life that have made me grossly aware of pre-programming but they have also provoked some serious thinking and major changes. Unfortunately, no matter how aware I am of pre-programmed negativity, there are still times that little bits of bizarre behavior or snap judgments continue to slip through. Every now and again, I find myself reacting to a situation or drawing a conclusion based on ugly pre-programmed information from my past. After the situation has unfolded I realize that my reaction was not how I would consciously choose to react and it is very scary!
Simply being aware of this does not always seem to be the best way to control the pre-programmed negativity that creeps into my consciousness without my permission!
For now, the best I can do is be aware of my unrealistic expectations and reactions, take the time to investigate where these feelings are coming from, and then decide are these feelings really mine.
Am I mimicking others reactions because it easier to do than coming up with my own?
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