A year ago, I did not think about what I expected from my life, but I am certain it was not this. In addition to dealing with this physical disease, I am grieving the loss of the life I expected even though I never truly defined the life I expected.
The gift (yes I said gift) of heart failure is the emotional healing that seems to begin as I am able to identify specifically what I have lost. Just as my physical losses were diagnosed through medical tests before a treatment can begin, my emotional expectations and losses have to be identified, before solutions can be found.
The REAL healing begins as I admit and accept that this life is less than I expected.
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