Saturday, July 4, 2020

no obvious end in sight...


Another holiday without you, and the day before that horrific the day brings back happy memories and tears. I remember all of the 4th of July days on the sailboat anchored in Lake Monroe, the water balloon fights followed later by the kids squealing as the fireworks literally burst over our heads.

As I move forward without you there are mixed emotions between being proud of myself for existing and going on living and then terrible guilt for simply going forward without you. I still do not know how to reconcile these 2 feelings and I wonder if this will ever go away.

The love, the guilt, the happy memories, the profound loss still, swirl around in my heart with
no obvious end in sight.


"Summer Song"  Chad & Jeremy

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